Good afternoon, my
darlings. Just three more weeks and
Granny and I will be back to visit you for TEN WHOLE DAYS. That may be just enough time to spoil you
really good before we have to return to Texas .
Your great Aunt Sandy, my
sister, and I lived too far from our grandparents and people didn’t travel as
often as they do these days so we didn’t get a proper spoiling by our
grandparents when we were your age or even older. Granny and I have to right that deficit. So I hope your parents will forgive us if we
unleash our pent up grandparental love on you guys.
I was thinking about my
father, your great grandfather Smith the other day. I am sad that he did not survive to see you
both as I know he would have loved you as much as we do. He was a kind and gentle man with strong
ethics and firm principles.
I remember one time when I
was about 7 years old. My sister, who
was only 13 months older than me) and I were arguing about something (I was
probably teasing her, as I was wont to do), and she hit me on the arm. My dad was in the room but he didn’t see the
first blow. All he saw was my
retaliatory punch to my sister’s stomach.
Dad was out of his chair in the wink of an eye, which wasn’t all that
easy for this 5’ 6”, 250 pound overweight man in his late 40’s. He grabbed my arm as I was about to throw
another punch and spun me around. He got
his bright red face down close to mine and said, in a measured voice which left
no doubt as to how serious he was, “I never, NEVER, want to see you EVER hit a
woman again, EVER!” I nearly lost
control of my bladder but then my father got down on one knee and looked me in
the eyes and explained why a man should never hit a woman, in the stomach or
any other place. He told me that God
made men stronger than women not so we could dominate them but so we could
protect them. His tone was firm but
gentle and I listened.
Several years later, when I
was about 12 years old, our family went out to eat at one of our favorite restaurants,
Anderson ’s,
home of the famous Split Pea Soup. There
was a young couple, probably in their late twenties or early thirties, at a
table not to far from ours. They were
arguing about something and you could tell he had been drinking. Even though I couldn’t hear what they were
saying I could see it upset my parents.
When we were leaving, the couple left just ahead of us. There were two parking areas outside the
restaurant, one high and one down a little hill on a lower level. The couple headed for the lower lot and our
car was in the upper lot. They were
screaming at each other and the man kept trying to grab the woman’s arm. She kept trying to get away. Dad told us kids to ignore it as it was none
of our business. But then, all of a
sudden, the man, who was over six feet tall, spun the much shorter woman
around, pushed her up against their car and the sound of him slapping her face
rang out in the night.
I was stunned to see that but
even more stunned to see my father dash across the parking lot and down the
hill toward the couples car. He made it
there in time to grab the arm of the man as he reared back to hit the woman
again. Despite the fact my dad was 8”
shorter than the man and easily 25 years his senior, my dad got up into the man’s
face and I heard these same words again, “I never, NEVER, want to see you EVER
hit a woman again, EVER!” The man was so
shocked he just stammered out agreement and my dad looked to the woman and
asked if she was alright. She said she
was and he ushered her to the passenger side and opened the door for her. “Take her home and mind what I told you”, my
dad said to the man as he started back up the hill to our car. Which brings me to my fifteenth pearl.
Fifteenth Pearl: “Never,
EVER, abuse another person, EVER!”
Now you might think this only
applies to you, Gehrig, but Eliana, it goes for you too. Physical abuse in our country today is more
prevalent than ever. It is a sad
situation. Men physically abuse women
but, sometimes, women are even guilty of abusing men. And physical abuse is only part of it. Mental and emotional abuse is part of the
mix.
We all have both the
capability to abuse and the capacity for great compassion. God gave us the gift of the latter but the
former we learn ourselves. One breeds
hate and despair, the other promotes and encourages love. The Golden Rule says, “Do unto others as you
would have them do unto you.” It is a
paraphrase of the commandment Jesus left with us to “Love thy neighbor as
thyself”.
Watch your parents and learn
from them. They are full of great
compassion. I hope you will both grow up to be compassionate, empathetic humans,
like your parents, who always treat others as you would like to be
treated. It is my hope that neither of
you ever know the desire to strike or harm another person. Besides, kissing and hugging is a lot more
fun anyway.
I love you bunches and
bunches,
Grandpa Jud
No comments:
Post a Comment