Dearest Eliana and Gehrig,
Santa Claus is packing up his
sleigh and feeding his reindeer. What a
night he has once a year delivering all those toys to good little girls and
boys. Attempting all those landings on
billions of roofs, sliding down all those chimneys and flying around the world
on Christmas Eve is a daunting and adventurous task. Santa must be quite a risk taker and he
definitely lives life in the fast lane.
I know this man whom you have
yet to meet. Tommy and I became friends
in high school and I was drawn to his outgoing, exuberant personality. Tommy built and drove the fastest car in
school and went everywhere at 90 mph. He
was always full of energy and spent copious amounts of it on his friends, his
cars, his work and his drag racing. From
the time I first met him, Tommy lived life fast.
After high school, Tommy went
to TCU but his other activities took precedent over his studies and he dropped
out to go into the Air Force. He
mastered his skills as a jet engine mechanic but when he came out he spent some
of his time as a technician for IBM but most of it building and racing cars…the
faster the better. Nothing could slow
him down, not even his failed first marriage, which included a daughter with
whom he never could connect. He did
manage to be Best Man at Granny and my wedding, but after that, we drifted
apart.
Tommy drove his drag cars to
the top of his class for several years in the late 1970’s and early ‘80’s. But speed didn’t satisfy the beast. It wasn’t risky enough. Somehow, he got into big-time drug dealing. Tommy would drop everything to rent a private
jet to fly to the Caribbean so he, his "girlfriend
du jour" and his buddies could charter a boat and sail around St. Kitts
for a week, or something just as extravagant.
These activities were a normal occurrence during this high risk and
dangerous period, that is, until Tommy got busted and spent the next six years
at the Federal penitentiary in Big
Spring , Texas
Tommy went the straight and narrow
after that. We renewed our friendship
and he married his third wife, who has been a God-send, but not his
salvation. Tommy’s internal motor was
still racing and he needed something to fuel it. Unfortunately, he chose alcohol. Drinking every waking moment was how Tommy
slowed the engine down, but it wreaked havoc on his health, his work and his
relationships. At one point I told him I
loved him too much to sit by and watch him kill himself and I helped him check
into a quality rehab center. Seven weeks
later, he was restored to a semblance of the man I knew. Which kind of brings me to my next pearl:
Twenty-Eighth Pearl
Many successful people are
driven. They have even isolated a gene
present in many very accomplished folks, like Albert Einstein, John Kennedy,
Bill Clinton, and Donald Trump that identifies this genius/overachieving/risk
taking nature. Although I don’t know for
sure, it appears Tiger Woods has that same gene. But just like all of these successful
individuals, there can be a dark side to this risk-taking gift.
When we are young, in our
teens and twenties, many of us live a “pedal-to-the-metal” lifestyle. We think we are invincible and we take risks
that maturity would not allow. Maturity
adds the brake. It works in concert with
the gas pedal to produce a safe and effective ride. With a fully functioning gas pedal and no
brake we have the ability to attain high speeds and cover a lot of ground, but
also the ability to careen off the cliff edge and into the abyss. Some people reach maturity early in life,
some never do.
Einstein used his gas pedal
to achieve mathematical genius, but without a brake tumbled into a series of
questionable relationships. Kennedy and
Clinton both attained the exalted position of President of the United States
Tommy’s stuck-on-the-floor
gas pedal propelled him through life at break neck speed until one day he sat
down in a chair and could not get back up.
Now paralyzed from the chest down due to a ruptured aneurism in his
spine aggravated by his risky choices and dissipated lifestyle, his brake is
now forever applied.
These are some sad stories, I
know. Does this mean we should never
take risks? No, of course not. There is risk in every great endeavor and we
must accept those challenges throughout the course of our lives. Knowing when to apply the gas and when to
apply the brake, however, is the key to not only attaining success but being
able to responsibly embrace it over time.
When he hits your roof next
week with his huge, heavily laden sleigh and nine famous reindeer, let’s hope
jolly old St. Nick knows how and when to apply the brake. I think he will. He has been doing it for a very long time.
Merry Christmas, little ones
and God Bless you!
Grandpa Jud
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