Monday, January 16, 2023


Fox News reports that classified, Top Secret documents have been found missing from National Archives from the time period 1977 through 1981.  After a thorough investigation by the FBI, it was discovered that former President Jimmy Carter had them in his possession at his home in Georgia. 

 President Carter, who turned 98 back on October 1, 2022, claimed to have no knowledge of these documents being in his possession and denied removing them from the White House when he left office after serving one term as President.  The documents were seized by federal agents under a warrant issued by the Department of Justice.  They were found in President Carter’s master bathroom on the top of the toilet tank along with a couple of old copies of People Magazine and a Playboy from 1966.

 When returned to the National Archives it was discovered that the Top Secret documents related to some research on peanut allergies.  The goal of the research was reportedly to develop a peanut allergy toxin that could be used as a weapon of mass destruction.  Carter vehemently denied this assertion and said the goal of the research was to find a cure for peanut allergies.  Of course, as Fox News’s Tucker Carlson pointed out, Carter stood to benefit greatly if a cure was found just in peanut sales alone.  Interestingly, the Playboy magazine, has somehow mysteriously disappeared since being removed from the toilet.

 Attorney General, Merrick Garland, announced that prosecution of this case would supersede the cases against former Vice-President and now President Joseph Biden and former President Donald J. Trump, because of the heinous nature of WMD’s and the fact that anyone with access to Carter’s toilet could have easily seen this classified information and used it to their advantage; especially if there was no toilet paper left on the roll in that tiny room.

 Carter and his minions will face a grand jury summons and possible criminal indictment.  Republicans from the new Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy, to M. Taylor Green leaped to the forefront to criticize Carter for his egregious actions while claiming that the charges against former President Trump should be dropped because he clearly declassified the hundreds of Top Secret documents found at Mar a Lago, even though there is no proof available.  Laura Ingraham of Fox News claims to have personally seen the magic wand Trump used to accomplish these declassifications, while CNN reported that it was actually just a short stick that Trump would use to pick his teeth.

 Jud Smith, reporting from Texas.

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